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You know you are a true Wisconsinite when:
  1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
  2. "Vacation" means going up north's to Crivitz for the weekend.
  3. You measure distance in hours.
  4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
  5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C", and back again, in the same day.
  6. Your whole family wears green and gold to church on Sunday.
  7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
  8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
  9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
  10. You think of the major food groups as cheese, beer, fish, and venison.
  11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
  12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the Fleet Farm at any given time.
  13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
  14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
  15. You refer to the Packers as "we."
  16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter; and road construction.
  17. You can identify an Illinois accent.
  18. You have no problem spelling Milwaukee.
  19. You consider Madison exotic.
  20. You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
  21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue spruce.
  22. You were unaware there is a legal drinking age.
  23. Down South to you means Chicago.
  24. A brat is something you eat.
  25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.
  26. You go out for a fish fry every Friday.
  27. You know how to polka.
  28. Your 4th of July Family Picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
  29. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
  30. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
  31. You know what to do with a Blatz.
  32. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Wisconsin Friends.
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Copyright 1997-2008 Dean Cashen