(This came from a friend, who apparently suffered a severe
head-trama and subsequently moved to New Mexico...)
You Know You're From New Mexico When...
- You buy salsa by the gallon.
- You are still using the paper license tag that came with your car five
- Your favorite restaurant has a chile list instead of a wine list.
- You do all your shopping and banking at a drive-up window.
- Your Christmas decorations include Your Christmas decorations include "a yard of sand and 200 paper bags"
- You have license plates on your walls, but not on your car.
- Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los"
- You remember when Santa Fe was not like San Francisco.
- You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.
- The tires on your roof have more tread than the ones on your car.
- You price-shop for tortillas.
- You have an extra freezer just for green chile.
- You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
- You believe that using a turn signal is a sign of weakness.
- You don't make eye contact with other drivers because you can't tell how
well armed they are just by looking.
- You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn.
- You have to sign a waiver to buy hot coffee at a drive-up window.
- You ran for state legislature so you can speed legally.
- You pass on the right because that's the fast-lane.
- You have read a book while driving from Albuquerque to Las Vegas.
- You know they don't skate at the Ice House and the Newsstand doesn't sell
- You think Sadies was better when it was in the bowling alley.
- You have used aluminum foil and duct tape to repair your air conditioner.
- You can't control your car on wet pavement.
- There is a piece of a UFO displayed in your home.
- You know that The Jesus Tortilla is not a band.
- You wish you had invested in the orange barrel business.
- You just got your fifth DWI and got elected to the state legislature in
the same week.
- Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.
- You have been on TV more than three times telling about how your neighbor
was shot or about your alien abduction.
- You can actually hear the Taos hum.
- All your out-of-state friends and relatives visit in October.
- You know Vegas is a town in the northeastern part of the state.
- You are afraid to drive through Mora and Espanola.
- You iron your jeans to "dress up"
- You don't see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales.
- Your other vehicle is also a pick-up truck.
- Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature and the other
in the state pen.
- You know the punch line to at least one Espanola joke.
- Your car is missing a fender or bumper.
- You have driven to an Indian Casino at 3am because you were hungry.
- You think the Lobos fight song is You think the Lobos fight song is "Louie, Louie"
- You know whether you want "red or green."
- You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer
- You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos, and Pojoaque.
- You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going
to charge you extra for You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going
to charge you extra for "international"
- You expect to pay more if your house is made of mud.
- You can order your Big Mac with green chile.
- You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around
you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence alternates
between Spanish and English.
- You associate bridges with mud, not water.
- You know you will run into at least 3 cousins whenever you shop at Wal-Mart,
Sam's or Home Depot.
- Tumbleweeds and various cacti in your yard are not weeds. They are your
- If you travel anywhere, no matter if just to run to the gas station, you
must bring along a bottle of water and some moisturizer.
- Trailers are not referred to as trailers. They are houses. Double-wide
trailers are Trailers are not referred to as trailers. They are houses. Double-wide
trailers are "real"
- A package of white flour tortillas is the exact same thing as a loaf of
bread. You don't need to write it on your shopping list; it's a given.
- At any gathering, regardless of size, green chile stew, tortillas, and
huge mounds of shredded cheese are mandatory.
- Prosperity can be readily determined by the number of horses you own.
- A tarantula on your porch is ordinary. A scorpion in your tub is ordinary.
A poisonous centipede on your ceiling? Ordinary. A black widow crawling
across your bed is terribly, terribly common. A rattlesnake is an occasional
hiking hazard. No need to freak out.
- You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New