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SCHOOL  -- 1959 vs. 2007

Scenario : Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1959 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.  

Scenario:  Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1959 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. 

Scenario:  Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1959 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability. 

Scenario:  Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1959 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.  Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang.  State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.  

Scenario:  Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1959 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.

2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons. 

Scenario :  Pedro fails high school English.

1959 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher.  English banned from core curriculum.  Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.  

Scenario:  Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red-ant bed.

1959 - Ants die.

2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. 

Scenario:  Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary.  Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1959 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy

Scenario:  Steve calls Suzie a "Dumb girl!" on the playground. Teacher overhears.

1959 - Teacher grabs Steve by the ear and tells him to say he's sorry. Steve says he's sorry and Suzie says "It's Ok." Twenty years later Steve and Suzie laugh about it on their 5th wedding anniversary.

2007 - Teacher calls school guards who take Steve and three of his friends into detention. Steve is expelled under School District Regulations 3211 (Bullying), 3216 ( Harassment), and 3219 (Sexual Harassment). Friends are put on temporary detention for suspicion under Regulation 3212 (Gang Activity). Suzie starts organization for awareness of the "Epidemic of Sexual Discrimination in the Public School System," spends year on talk show circuit.

Scenario:  Billy skips out of classes and generally messes up in school

1959 - Football coach takes Billy into locker room, slams his head against a locker and tells him to "Shape up." Billy shapes up.

2007 - Football coach catches Billy, gives him a shake and tells him to "Clean up your act." Two students catch it on cell-phone video and post to YouTube. Media gets hold of it and charges of child abuse are leveled against the coach, who is dismissed and stripped of his teaching license. Public is outraged when jury sentences the coach to just a fine and 60 days of community service. Parents win lawsuit against school district. Billy continues to sluff off but teachers graduate him. With money from the lawsuit he moves out of home, gets an apartment and starts a band. It fails, and after a stint in rehab moves back, broke, and gets fired from a series of jobs for "messing up."

Scenario:  3rd-grade Suzie and friends have a snowball fight at recess

1959 - Suzie and friends have a snowball fight at recess. Teacher reminds them to brush off snow before they go back to class.

2007 - School guard catches girls violating rule against picking up snow, hustles all into Principal's office. Principal lectures girls about the rule and the dangers of throwing snowballs. Orders detention, incident added to students permanent record. Kids must write confessions for parents to sign and return before being allowed back to school.

 

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Copyright 1997-2008 Dean Cashen