SCHOOL -- 1959 vs. 2007
Scenario : Jack goes quail hunting
before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun
in gun rack.
1959 - Vice Principal comes over, looks
at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to
2007 - School goes into
lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never
sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized
students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight
1959 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny
and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT
team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault,
both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts
1959 - Jeffrey sent to office and given
a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still
and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge
doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School
gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window
in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a whipping with
1959 - Billy is more careful next time,
grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested
for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State
psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being
abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has
affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some
aspirin to school.
1959 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal
out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark
expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for
drugs and weapons.
Scenario : Pedro fails high school English.
1959 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes
English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is
taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining
that making English a requirement for graduation is
racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school
system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned
from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway
but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot
Scenario: Johnny takes apart
leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model
airplane paint bottle, blows up a red-ant bed.
1959 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security,
FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates
parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated,
Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed
to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during
recess and scrapes his knee. He is found
crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary
hugs him to comfort him.
1959 - In a short time, Johnny feels better
and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual
predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.
Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy
Scenario: Steve calls Suzie
a "Dumb girl!" on the playground. Teacher overhears.
1959 - Teacher grabs Steve
by the ear and tells him to say he's sorry. Steve says he's
sorry and Suzie says "It's Ok." Twenty years later Steve
and Suzie laugh about it on their 5th wedding anniversary.
2007 - Teacher calls school
guards who take Steve and three of his friends into detention.
Steve is expelled under School District Regulations 3211
(Bullying), 3216 ( Harassment), and 3219 (Sexual Harassment).
Friends are put on temporary detention for suspicion under
Regulation 3212 (Gang Activity). Suzie starts organization
for awareness of the "Epidemic of Sexual Discrimination in
the Public School System," spends year on talk show circuit.
Scenario: Billy skips out of
classes and generally messes up in school
1959 - Football coach takes
Billy into locker room, slams his head against a locker and
tells him to "Shape up." Billy shapes up.
2007 - Football coach catches
Billy, gives him a shake and tells him to "Clean
up your act." Two students catch it on cell-phone video and
post to YouTube. Media gets hold of it and charges of
child abuse are leveled against the coach, who is dismissed
and stripped of his teaching license. Public is outraged
when jury sentences the coach to just a fine and 60 days
of community service. Parents win lawsuit against school
district. Billy continues to sluff off but teachers graduate
him. With money from the lawsuit he moves out of home, gets
an apartment and starts a band. It fails, and after a stint
in rehab moves back, broke, and gets fired from a series
of jobs for "messing up."
Scenario: 3rd-grade Suzie and
friends have a snowball fight at recess
1959 - Suzie and friends
have a snowball fight at recess. Teacher reminds them to
brush off snow before they go back to class.
2007 - School guard catches
girls violating rule against picking up snow, hustles all
into Principal's office. Principal lectures girls about the
rule and the dangers of throwing snowballs. Orders detention,
incident added to students permanent record. Kids
must write confessions for parents to sign and return
before being allowed back to school.